Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall...

I've had five and a half Coronas- it'll surely be six by the time this post is done.

Gulp. Gulp.

That said, I feel the need to reflect on the effects alcohol has on my system.

Many writers have turned to the "devil's drink" for inspiration, and I suppose I see why. It relaxes the incessant and ubiquitous internal criticizer that damages every writer. For every writer suffers from a disease known as insecurity. We worry our writing isn't good enough; we worry that other will mock that which comes from our heart and soul.

It is a difficult thing to lay out for the world to see all that which we believe and think. We risk utter rejection and scorn. Such a development would forever silence our viewpoints and beliefs- surely a hell for any writer to weather, much less a young an inexperienced one.

I rarely imbibe alchohol in sufficient quantities to cause any mental impairments. In general, I don't think that's what alcohol does. Alcohol only exaggerates the persona we normally inhabit; it is flame to the gasoline which routinely sits in the recesses of our soul.

I'm positive that at this moment in time, it would be illegal for me to drive in any of the 5o states. My reflexes are sufficiently slowed to the point where driving a motor vehicle would be positively insane.

Allow me to expand that point- anyone who drives drunk is a complete idiot. Of course, there are exceptions (such as an impending nuclear attack, for crying out loud) but 99% of the time, it's a bad idea. In my experience, alcohol doesn't blunt or impede the brain's ability to think- it only slows down the physiological reflexes.

For example, my diction does not decrease with alcohol consumption- if a policeman were to question me, I could bedazzle him with my rapier wit before being led away. By the same token, I am still able to type almost as well. Granted, I make more mistakes, but my inner corrector is still alive and well, going back and cleaning up the mistakes. It might, at most, take 5% more time to write this post than a comparable post written while sober would take to create.

All in all, I rarely drink. I don't think I tried an alchoholic beverage until I was 22. But on occasion, I will drink a bit.

My question is this- are you truly drunk if you're still in charge of your mental faculties? Because I'm not quite sure if it's possible for me to reach that point. I think my body would pass out and shut down before I ever reach that stage.

I understand the legal standard is different (as I said earlier, anyone who drives drunk is an idiot) but I'm of the opinion that alcohol's only significant effects (at least on me) is a slowed reaction time and a mental relaxation. It doesn't effect my ability to think in the least. So those who drive drunk can't blame the alcohol- they were stupid to begin with, the alcohol only gave them an excuse to carry out the stupid thoughts that wandered about in their stupid brains.

Edit: From what I can tell, there are two grammatical errors in the above post. I'm going to leave them as they are for historical purposes. Since I've imbibed alcohol, there could very well be more, but I doubt it. Much like my previous post, alcohol only reinforces the belief that the truth is something we can never know- sober or not.

Site Update

I removed my Google ads a few days ago- I think I had earned about $4.00 in over a year of blogging. It wasn't worth the intrusion.

Added 3 new links under new "Internal Dialogue" section to the right. (I call it this because the links all focus on Mississippi-related issues, and might not be terribly exciting to some of my far-flung visitors across the globe.)

Speaking of which, I have received visits from Norway, England, and Germany in the past few days. How they ever found my blog (and chose to actually return) I'll never know. Yet I suppose that's the power of the internet.

Regardless, I like to briefly introduce a link before just blinding posting it.

Rule12b6.com is an online community/website developed by a law school peer. It's goal is to be a meeting place for students at Mississippi College School of Law, as well as area attorneys. It's an ambitious goal, but he's tackled it with hard work and elegance. I wish him well.

Not the Last Word is written by someone who works in the legal world (I'm not sure what he wants out "there," so I'm playing it safe) who likes to post his opinions on various topics. As the title of his blog suggests, he's very open to healthy debate.

Mississippi Law is a site run by two or three? guys in Mississippi who like to debate various legal situations which arise in our state. For those of you living in Mississippi, it might be interesting to check it out.

Truth

What is truth?

Keats suggested that truth equaled beauty, and vice versa.

It's a neat syllogism, but I think it's somewhat simplistic.

Instead, I hold that truth is largely inconceivable to all humans. Our limited senses and finite minds cannot comprehend something so grand as "truth".

In other words, we don't know nothin'.

For example, everyone knows that 2+2=4. But is that a "true" statement? Is it any more true than the statement "pumpkin + coleslaw = Honda Accord?" The former is true only because we deem it so, and for no other reason.

We determine our environment solely from our five senses. As those five senses aren't perfect, our perception of the environment is flawed, and our determination of the truth is necessarily limited.

Imagine if we developed a new sense, and our whole view of the world changed before our eyes. We cannot estimate or categorize that which we cannot discern.

As humans, we are playing with a puzzle with worn pieces and possible missing parts that we likely will never find.

I'm sticking all the pieces back in the box, and simply deciding to live my life. There's no use playing with a broken toy. I'll simply make the decisions I think are best based on the information I have, realizing that said information is probably just a sliver of the entire data set.

In short, we will never know the answer to "What is truth?"

But then again, that could be a lie.

Who knows?

Upkeep

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.

- Marianne Williamson


I find much sense in this statement, especially in present day. The media has forced us closer to our dark selves than in any other time in American history. We are comfortable with the concept of evil. There's no shock, no dismay, no bile in the gut when we watch murder and pain and betrayal on TV. Catharsis doesn't exist because our emotional dam burst long ago, and whatever trickles out during a performance isn't worth mentioning.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, one of my favorite authors, wrote a novel entitled The Idiot. It's about a guy who is actually decent, and what happens when he encounters the universally hypocritical society around him. Most of the characters determine that he has slipped off the mental balance beam, based on his selfless actions. It's hilarious and incredibly depressing, all at the same time.

We can't handle true goodness anymore- it's an alien concept, like unadulterated evil used to be before it showed its face one too many times.Their must be a balance. When we have no relief with which to contrast evil deeds, we lose the ability to recognize it as evil. Instead, we only see varying shades of gray and fail to sound the alarm when true danger passes in our midst.

I am especially guilty of this. My guard has been systematically lowered over the years- my moral filter too old and torn to collect the new clumps which head my way.

In other words, I need a change.

Law School Shortcomings

My first-year experience was filled with reading case after case after case after case-many of which contradicted each other and/or were outdated. I understand that the process is designed to show you the historical underpinnings and ambiguity of the law, but I imagine the process could be done in a less confusing way.

However, that was forgivable- tradition is slow to yield and there are some valuable truths to be discovered in reading old cases.

It is, however, the total lack of focus on statutes that I feel was most misleading. I can count with one hand the number of actual statutes I think a professor mentioned in class. Theory, as least in a classroom setting, appears to be centered around the capricious opinions of judges.

In practice, however, I use statutes on a daily basis. The lawyer I work for will say, "Find the statute and see if this person has standing to sue," or "See what the statute has to say about this." He has a small and modest law library, most of which is taken up by the Annotated Mississippi Code. And yet for the most part, it's all a truly competent lawyer would ever need to try most garden-variety cases.

The "Annotated" part means it gives you lots of good stuff to start with- which is all that's needed to LexisNexis your way to some current caselaw on the matter.

Cases are important, but they are a secondary byproduct (for the most part) of statutes. Opinions are nothing more than interpretation of the law as it is written. If the legislature doesn't like the "interpretation," they simply change the wording of the law, based on past opinions. A good simplistic example is when the legislature changes the word "may" to "shall", after a court determines it's not necessary to do something based on the language.

This is not to say that statutes are "black-letter law." Novel situations cause discrepancies in the current law that have to be plugged by judicial interpretation. Eventually new laws are made, or old laws are challenged, and the process begins anew. Black-letter law could only exist 1) if no new circumstances or events arose, or 2) our finite minds could write laws to cover infinite possibilities. Sadly, neither is a realistic option.

I say all of this only because I wish that law school focused more on the statutes themselves. They serve as both the backbone and life-blood of the everyday workings of our legal system. Law school has a tendency to focus on the fancy yet relatively useless flesh of the thing a bit too much. To make matters worse, much of the skin focused on is either dead or dying.

Fork in the Road

It’s been too long since I had a chance to just stop and think. To let the world slide idly by and not try, for just once, to catch up. It’s a good feeling.

Most of my recent posts have had a sense of urgency to them, at least in my mind’s eye. It seems the world we live in refuses to let us simply be. Cautious worries of dangers unique to this time- terrorism- combined with the inarguable fact that we are becoming immersed (and isolated) by technology do nothing to impede this process.

Of course there are personal events as well that impose themselves upon such a sense of harmony. I have work, Law Review, and an upcoming move (more about that later) to prepare for that take time and energy to effectively manage. Most of these, albeit, are self-imposed crosses that I bear, but still the weight is sometimes great.

It is important to remember the value of rest. Even Christ fell under the weight of his cross at Golgotha, just as God rested after six days. This is an important point- God chose to rest. I think that if we could know why an omnipotent and omniscient being chose to just be for a while, we would be close to understanding the order of this world.

The world is not interested in knowing the answer to that question. Humans are woefully incessant creatures who push themselves farther and farther- and yet to what end? Why must these things be done? Why must we rush about? No one asks anymore, they just simply do. The sinking sun is just another signal to switch on a light and continue the day’s work. And, worst of all, we believe the old lie that if we work hard enough, one day the work will stop- things will be done and we’ll be able to do that which we truly want to do. In truth, that day usually comes long after we’ve left this earth.

Nature, however, understands the solemn song of rest. The seasons fall in a cycle; the blazing growth of summer takes place for less than half a year before falling into the gracious decay of autumn and the peaceful dearth of winter. Volcanoes heave and thrust with amazing power for moments in time, yet sit idle for much of their existence. Even the smallest flower will open with the sun and close when it sets, as if on a cosmic cue we have taught ourselves to ignore.

I worry at times that I’ve run out of things to blog about; in truth I just haven’t been looking. When I began this blog, my eyes were different, seeing and discerning things an optometrist couldn’t begin to imagine. Now I worry they are beginning to dull, and the ho-hum existence of life is slowly beginning to take its weary toll.

And yet, all is not lost. For it is the mere recognition of such a state that is its own salvation. We can only pull ourselves out of a chasm when we finally, blindly, strike the darkened walls with our outstretched hands. Whether we see it or not, a light shines above.

Words are weak and actions strong, and time will tell if this clarion call actually forces me to get up and do something about that which I feel so strongly. But there is a change in this lump of flesh typing these things, that much I know for sure.

Just sitting here for a few moments with nothing but this entry on my mind has done wonders. I feel I’m approaching a great Truth, and I hope I am able to embrace it. As I write this, I am 26 years old. That leaves me with roughly 50 years (if I’m lucky) to make the journey. At least now I have the rough outlines of a map in my head to guide me. It is the map of a less-traveled path beneath the airy stars, under the moonlit shade of an oak tree.

I hope one day to find it.

The Law is Not Enough, Late and Soon

North Korea is apparently about to "test" fire a Taepodong-2 long-range missile somewhere over the Pacific. It's capable of reaching a great deal of the United States western coast, many experts believe.

MSNBC reports that the missile has been fueled, a process that is difficult to undo and which signifies that the North Korean government has crossed their strategic Rubicon, so to speak.

North Korea argues that it has every right to develop long-rang missiles, and technically speaking, they're right.

Each country, as a sovereign territory, can pretty much do whatever the hell it pleases- within its own borders. It can join pacts and treaties and promise to play nice- but in the end those aren't worth much.

It's hypocritical for the United States to tell another country what they can and can't do. Can you imagine our response if North Korea (or Sudan or Portugal) demanded we throw away our nuclear weapons? We'd say they don't have the authority- and we'd be right.

That said, this is one of those circumstances where the possible outcome is so potentially horrific that you cast all that theory aside and turn their missile making plans into smoking, little craters.

This missile test is calculated to do two things- bring North Korea to the international spotlight and help them rattle their sabers, which is what they do best. I say we rattle the saber for them.

If not now, when? We know they've got a long-range missile (they didn't build it for nothing) that can reach the U.S. and we know they're threatening to fire it. Of course, they claim it's for defensive purposes, the same reason the redneck in north Georgia uses to defend his ownership of a fully automatic weapon. We allow the redneck's lie because at best, he'll kill three people at the Seven Eleven. However, North Korea could cause a LOT more damage. They could take out a large portion of Los Angeles and claim it was simply a mistake. "Ooops. I suppose we should have adjusted that."

We need to send them a strong and clear message that this activity, whether lawful or not, will not be tolerated. Simply because we can. Might doesn't make right, but it certainly helps when the right have might.

Lastly, all of our cherished laws mean nothing if we are but burning corpses in a shell of a courtroom.

Pit Bull Ban

An area in Jackson, Mississippi has recently banned pit bulls. Cities across the country are banning these creatures, due to repeated and horrific attacks on innocent men, women and children.

It's an idiotic approach, but an effective one.

I've never owned a pit bull and I can't speak from experience- but it doesn't take a master sleuth to realize what the real problem is. Namely, morons are training these dogs to attack and kill each other, and then they act surprised when the animal decides to attack and kill other animals (i.e. human beings- I'm pretty sure a dog can't comprehend the fact that we aren't truly animals, whether you accept that particular view or not.)

Using Skinner type psychology and a little time, I could turn anything into a trained killer- a miniature poodle, an elephant, or even a human being.

I understand there are certain breeds that will attack for no apparent reason (those closer to the old line of wolves) but pit bulls aren't among them. Instead, trained due to their immensely powerful jaws, they are rewarded and praised when they use said powerful jaws. Any animal quickly makes the connection that to hurt and kill equals praise and food.

The great majority of animals in this world, domesticated or not, will not attack humans unless in fear of their lives. Very few see us as a food choice. Those that do attack will do so out of territorial concerns- the same reason we usually kill (someone entering our house, e.g.) Even snakes bite as a defensive reaction, not an offensive one. If given the chance, most animals will leave us alone.

Unless we train them to kill.

However, it's impossible to tell the trained pit bulls from the normal ones. So we make a utilitarian decision to ban all of them in an effort to make people safe.

I'm all for it, but don't blame the dogs who do the killing. Blame the people who trained them. Those people should be put in a ring and forced to kill and injure each other while everyone cheers- or torn to pieces by the very dogs they trained.

End of an Era

As I've mentioned before, I am currently working in a small town. Well, starting tomorrow, it's going to be even smaller. The local hardware store is closing its doors, after one final "Everything Must Go!" sale in the morning. It anchored one third of the only "shopping center" this town has- the other two stores being a local grocery and a Bill's.

It had been open for as long as I can remember.

The reason it closed? Two words- Home Depot.

Yep, the Big Orange Behemoth has recently placed itself in an interstate town roughly eight miles away. Little 'ol local hardware store couldn't compete. Just think about it- Home Depot might buy a billion screws at once, whereas this guy probably bought 500 or so at a time. Who do you think gets the better deal?

(This is also why Wal-mart can sell for so cheap- of course, it's buying power is even larger.)

I know its capitalism, and good business sense, but this town will never be the same. I don't blame Home Depot for moving in (admittedly, it was a smart move) but I am sad the little store is gone. There's much to be said for progress; but I hope in the process we don't always have to destroy those things that came before in order to achieve it. Had not people with that kind of entrepreneurial spirit blazed the way, Home Depot might not have ever existed.

Now, the people of this town will have to drive 16 miles roundtrip just to get a key made, or to buy an air filter. I realize that's not so great a distance to drive, but it seems a bit long when your purpose is so menial.

This town is on the verge of reducing itself to "bedroom community" status- if it's not careful, people will only live here, and then drive back and forth to work, shop, and eat. As it stands now, a determined soul could avoid driving into a larger town. It has a post office, grocery store, drug store, and a few restaurants. The loss of a good hardware store, however, robs the town of some of its independence and makes it rely on other cities to survive. A small reliance, granted, but one that may have aftershocks and repercussions in the years to come.

Job Update

Today I went out to a tiny little town and collected evidence of some damage caused to a gas station. I took several photos and discussed the incident with the lady working there.

Take that, highly-paid workers in the big city! I bet you don't get to go out and do stuff like that.

That's one of the big benefits of this job- I'm learning the practical ins and outs of being an attorney.

Law school itself is basically helpless in this regard, since it's rooted so firmly in theory. Real-world law is not dictated by pointy-headed professors.

Here's a brief list of the things I've learned how to do, and it's been roughly a month since I began:

1. Write and file a complaint (for trespass, partition of land, odomoter fraud, etc.)
2. Write a summons, serve said defendant, and then file the proof or service with the clerk.
3. Send a certificate of service.
4. Write interrogatories, requests for admissions, and request for production of documents.
5. Write demand letters to insurance companies.
6. Write orders (to determine heirs, assess damages, etc.) and send to clerk to have the Judge sign.
7. Write motions (to deem admission admitted, summary judgment, remand to state court, etc.) some even going to federal court.
8. File documents in the federal court district's new electronic system.
9. Interview clients and acquire contracts for said clients.
10. Assist in real estate closings.
11. Do some (albeit quite limited) title work.
12. Fashion deposition questions.
13. Write and get an order for heirs published in a generally circulated newspaper for three weeks.

Some of it is largely my own effort, but all of it involves guidance from my boss. But I'm learning quick, and more and more stuff is getting past his glance with little more than a shrug.

Add to this the fact that I'm meeting several attorneys and various judges and I couldn't be more content with my current position.

Write-On, Write-Off

I begin writing for the Law Review competition on the 23rd.

I must become a master of the BlueBook¹, which is the bible for law school comments and casenotes. Which is funny, since I learned the ALWD Manual² during first-year.

Horror stories (some true) about the competition abound- that just one misspelled word spells doom to the unwary writer, and if a footnote is one character off- well, you might want to look at HVAC school³. I'm just sayin'.

Basically, it's an opportunity for those who are gluttons for punishment to shine. Which sucks, since I'm kinda laid back.⁴

_______________________

1. www.legalbluebook.com
2. www.alwd.org/cm/
3. www.hvacschool.com
4. Just ask anyone who knows me.

What I Would Say If Running for Law School Office

This is why I'll never run (much less win) in a law school election.

Now is not the time for cheap and easy promises.

I say these things knowing full well I will lose this election, but also because they are things worth being said.

I will lose because they are things no one wants to hear, talk about, or discuss in polite conversation. Yet they are also things of truth.

We are past the time when elections simply mean handing out free pizza and promising to hold more student-led parties. Or at least, I hope we are. To do anything of consequence, we need a leader who will look beyond his constituents and toward the incoming law school classes on the horizon. And yet we need constituents who will do the same.

We need a leader who will face the truth- that most law school officers are merely placeholders until the next placeholder can arrive. We need someone who can break that measly tradition and turn this opportunity into a way to help others. We need more than just a bullet point on a resume.

We must look to help the school, as opposed to wondering what this school can do for us. We must sacrifice our short-term and selfish ideals for goals that can actually bring about beneficial change to those who follow after. For in the end, our legacy is all that will remain in this place. Over time, even the memories of parties and pizza will woefully fade.

We must assist the community, instead of deride it and ask why can't it be better. We must acknowledge that in today's society competent legal representation is a need and a right among those who cannot afford it- if our catechism of "justice for all" is to be more than mere words. And we must draw the connection that perhaps, just perhaps, some of our neighbors are in the plight they are in because competent adequate representation did not exist.

We must step outside ourselves, and place the mantle of responsibility of our chosen career high on our shoulders. We are guardians of justice- it is time we started acting like it.

If you do not agree with this message, please cast your vote for someone else. I'd rather lose the election than lead such people.

Thank you.

I Farked Myself

I posted my blog on fark.com just to see what would happen.

What is this blog, you might ask? It's a collection of musings, observations, poems, pictures, and reflections. The law school experience plays a large part, but does not define the blog itself.

I'm more interested in the search for truth, and how that theoretical construct actually plays out in the practical universe.

That, and stray dogs.

On this blog there are 382 posts about my life. A trained psychologist could probably learn a great deal if they read through all of them, but that might not be a truth worth knowing.

I'll let you, the visitor, make that determination.

Welcome to my blog, farksters who happen to stop by. I hope you enjoy.

Ranking

I'm safely entrenched in the top 20% of my class.

Which isn't important in and of itself, but it means that I'll get to keep my scholarship.

Which means a lot.

And hopefully, everyone higher than me will choose to transfer to Harvard- I hear they have a pretty good school up there.

Blogger's Block

Over the last few days, I've had trouble thinking of things to write. So I think I'll just ramble incoherently in the hopes that something interesting or original comes out of it.

My wife is scared of the Burger King commercial where the guy slowly turns into a chicken. I'm not a big movie buff, but the whole setup seems strangely Hitchcockian- one where the style of the shot tells just as much of the story as the actual events taking place. Sadly, it's become a lost art in filmmaking.

I painted a picture for my sister- the one who moved to Nashville- last week. I spent an hour or so a day after work on it. I was inspired by how the leaves glowed in the light of the security light behind the house. Of course, the actual product was a bit different from the reality (I'm no Old Master) but the effect was close enough. It was a dark piece of art- dark blues and purples and black silhouettes of trees against the night sky. Yet the moon and security light shone bright- and one tree sat between the light and the viewer and struck bright green to the eye. It's kinda hard to explain.

I would like to paint more often, but it takes so much effort to prepare and get all the materials ready. It's kinda like the TV cooking shows where they whip up masterpieces in ten minutes. All of the ingredients are in cute little bowls (generally glass ones) and they just dump everything in at just the right time. Of course, they never show you the four assistants who have to cut up, prepare, and arrange all the ingredients in the cute little bowls. Painting is a lot like that- I guess most things worth doing are.

I wish people would comment more on my blog, but I generally don't comment on other people's blogs. Ironic and hypocritical at all the same time- that's me (and humanity) in a nutshell.

Once we realize that the true power of blogging is the full spectrum of ideas and perspectives that can be brought to the table, and thus facilitate the advancement of truth, then the better the blogging community will be. As it stands now, we appear to be mostly islands of thought. Here and there, one encounters a fragile archipelago, held together by shared ideas. Yet we must forge out to open seas, and give up part of ourselves if any real progress is to ever be made with this new innovation.

The sky outside is an unearthly yellow after the rains have passed. It's as if the light is suffused and emanating from every structure upon the earth- yet this spectacle will surely pass, just as the rain did.

I saw a dog that had been hit by a car laying on the side of the road. Vultures were already starting their grisly work. I had an instant thought that would not have existed just two months ago- was I to be sad for the dog, or happy for the vultures? The two competing emotions fought each other to the death, and I was left empty. Nature, and life itself, has a way of zeroing things out- a cosmic accounting, if you will. As humans, all we can ever hope to do is rage against this balance, and maybe, just maybe, leave a little in the positive column when we're gone.

Been Busy

1. Helped in-laws move most of the weekend.
2. Watched Game 5 of the Dallas-Miami basketball game.
3. Went to chancery court today with the boss.
4. Ate lunch (he treated) at a small town restaurant.
5. Currently writing various legal miscellany and waiting on five.
6. Will post more tonight when I have time to think.

New Link

I just wanted to point out a new blog I recently found called the Clever W0T. It's one of the most impressive displays of HTML I've ever seen- it makes my blog look like a second-grader's technology assignment.

Even more impressive, however, is the insightful way he deals with various topics. It is rare indeed to find a blogger who can discuss an issue with so much clarity. Even if you don't always agree with his views, you will probably appreciate the way he frames his argument.

Strangeness

Today I walked out to the pasture and went picking blackberries. Most of them were gone, either dried up due to the drought-like conditions or picked over by the wild animals. There were a few, however, so it was worth the short trip.

On my way back, I saw something white out of the corner of my eye. As I approached it, I realized I was staring at a pile of feathers. Long and beautiful white feathers- maybe six or seven inches long. There was nothing else left to testify that a bird had once been there- no bones, no blood, nothing but feathers. It was a large amount of feathers, too- the pile was maybe two feet square, but matted down pretty well. Thus they were hard to count. I brought the four prettiest ones back home to show to my wife. I believe the bird was a type of crane that I see flying over the house every now and then, but I've never been too good at identifying birds.

Here's what's strange- I can't think of an animal that would be smart enough to kill a bird of that size without cutting it (there was not one drop of blood on the snow white feathers) then field dress it, and carry it off (I presume) to eat.

Has anyone out there ever seen such a thing? My best guess is some type of raptor, or perhaps a small bear.

My crazy theory (I always have one) is that is was a Bigfoot who had rambled by to pick the berries. He strangled the bird (hence no blood) then proceeded to sit down and meticulously pluck it until it was clean. Then he carried it off- either because he feared being disturbed, or because he was saving it for later/carrying it to his family.

Whatever it was had to have carried it off- there were no bones whatsoever- no skull, no beak, no nothing. And I had been out there only about a week prior- so it hadn't been there long.

Any ideas welcome- because frankly, I'm at a loss.

Blog Ranking

I stopped by technorati on a whim and discovered that my blog is ranked #600,805 out of God-knows-how-many blogs.

For comparison purposes, my other blog (which is mostly dead because I grew weary of it) is ranked #1,378,225. After punching in a few other blogs, it appears that is as low as the number goes.

My goal for now is to break into the top 500,000 by the end of the year. We'll see how that works out.

Connectivity Concerns

Over the last few years, I've seen more and more people wearing the Star Trek inspired earpieces that allow for handless operation of a cell phone. These are the same people who appear to be crazy, walking around the local supermarket shouting, "I don't care about the estimate, just give me the docments!" while attempting to choose a ripe avocado.

Mark my words, America- withing 30 years cell phones will be surgically implanted inside of people.

The mouthpiece will be placed inside a hollowed out tooth, and the earbud will be a hearing device type deal in the inner ear. All actions will be voice controlled, and all that will be required is saying the person's name and you'll be instantly connected.

Of course, this will all be supplemented with Internet access, with a screen either on a specially made contact lens or some type of virtual reality device for transmitting the image of the person we're talking to. Eventually, we'll learn how to deceive the brain into believing our skin is being touched by another person, and the need for real human contact will be obliterated once and for all.

In other words, technology will allow us to immerse ourselves in an environment that seems perfectly real- and yet isn't. As time goes by, the differences in the two "worlds" will be so minute that no one will be able to tell the difference, and one will lose track of whether or not they are connected to the devices in question. I'd carry the process farther, but then I'd just get nauseous.

In short, we're going to incubate ourselves in technology and lead really awesome and really fake lives. People will grow addicted to these devices (like the cell phones of today) and never do anything but operate in their electronically connected world.

Somewhere Thoreau and Emerson just threw up.

Step By Step

Today while surfing the Internet I came across a site called Instructables which gives detailed instructions on how to do a great many different things- making a concrete dog house and aquarium coffee table being the ones that stick out in my mind.

It seems to be a "smart" website- as in, the people know what they're talking about when they post comments and opinions.

Anyway, check it out if you're interested. It should provide plenty of ideas, if nothing else.

Flash of Death

All of the major news networks and newspapers I've seen haven't hesitated to show the dead body of Al-Zarqawi after a half-t0n bomb fell on the house he was hiding in.

First point to make- I didn't like the man, but I'm not "glad" he's dead. When we start to feel joy over another's death, we begin to depart from that which makes us human. Killing or capturing him was a military objective, not an emotional one. While there are those that must die, doing so must not make us feel better through the death itself- it is the results thereof that make us feel more secure, and thus better. He was a horrible person, but we begin to match his horrible nature if we sing and dance when he's dead.

In short, we should never derive joy from death. Ever. Even the animals are not so coarse in their behavior.

Secondly, and I've posted on this before- I regret that the media seems to have disdained the sanctity of death by showing human bodies in such an accessible fashion. Kids should not have to look at this stuff due to a careless accident. It should be available for mature consumption, but it should require more than the turn of a knob to find it.

There is no "moral" threshold that determines if it's okay to place the picture of a man's corpse on the front cover of a newspaper. Al-Zarqawi's "badness" does not make it okay to parade around his corpse's image as a tool of war propaganda. As I recall, dragging around the body of dead soldiers is exactly the tactic that the enemy soldiers used in Somalia. I wouldn't be surprised if we are using his pictures if only because of the cumbersone bidding war that would ensue over the man's body, if such a thing was allowed.

Certainly we are better than this. Or at least, I hope we are.

Meta-Poem

A wonderful thought
Carefully caught,
Wonderfully wrought,
Yet all for naught.

What One Hears Watching the French Open.

Da-Thwock
UUH!
Da-Thwock
UUH!
Applause

Bounce, Bounce, Bounce
Da-Thwock
UUH!!
Fault!
(Repeat)
Applause

Da-Thwock
AAHH!!
Upswell
Da-Thwock
Wild Applause
Cinquante-Trente

Poets

Do we dare crumble?
Can we afford to fall apart?
This question tears and nags
And burns the corners of my...
Wait.
I was going to say "heart."
(A dewdrop line for a
rainbow rhyme-)
But I won't.
The problems of the world
Deserve more than the curl
Of a poet's knowing smile.

The Incredible Story of Pumpkin

About three years ago, my wife and I were driving in Jackson. I saw something white out of the corner of my eye moving in the grass. It was a tiny black-and-white kitten, chasing some sort of insect.

Normally this would be a cute event, but there was a tiny problem-

She was playing in the median of a major interstate exchange.

I pulled the car over and my wife and I attempted to rescue her. Unfortunately, she decided that she didn't want to be rescued. So she darted into a drainage pipe that ran under the road. She was so scared she literally waded through fairly deep water (for a cat her size) to get away. So now she's sitting in the middle of the pipe on a small heap of trash and hissing her heart out.

So I climbed in. I'm not claustrophic, but more than once I felt like I was auditioning for Fear Factor. Climbing inside a half-filled water pipe that's barely big enough to squeeze in is an uncomfortable situation, to say the least.

Eventually I scared her out of the pipe and then she hid under a concrete slab. This time, however, I was able to grab her.

As soon as I had her, she went limp and started purring. She'd been on an adrenaline-charged fight for survival for God knows how long and she had given up.

We kept her for three years, and she grew happy and fat.

A few weeks ago, we gave her to a couple in North Mississippi who had recently lost a cat they'd had for a long while. (It's a long story, but it was best that we give away some of our many cats.)

It was a good home, but unfortunately she escaped and hid in their attic for three weeks, and no one was able to catch her. This is Mississippi- attics get hot in the summertime. As in, "Am I standing in an oven?" kinda hot. This added to the fact that she was wearing a natural fur coat didn't help matters. We went once and called for her, but she didn't come. Then the homeowners set up a trap, but to no avail. We had almost given up hope.

Tonight my wife and her dad drove up there to give it one last try. My wife called her, and she responded. Eventually, she came out and walked up to her. From what I hear, she's dirty, skinny, and looks like a mess, but she's okay.

As I'm typing this, there's a white truck heading toward my home carrying Pumpkin in a cat carrier, plus one incredibly happy wife.

Needless to say, we won't be giving her away again.

Final Second Semester Tally

Civil Procedure: B+
Property: A
Contracts: B
Torts: C+
Legal Writing: B+

Final GPA for semester: 3.35

Now I have to combine it with my old GPA and wait for class rankings.

I'm fairly sure my scholarship is intact, but Law Review is going to be a total crapshoot.

Legal Research & Writing Grade

B+

Quite happy with it.

I kinda slacked off at the end, so it was to be expected. I'm not saying I would have earned an A, but I could have put forth more energy toward the effort.

It'll be interesting to see how this semester's grades influences my class rank.

In bigger news, I'm now officially a 2L.

06/06/06

Surely the world will end.

Not.

Americans have such a short sense of history- they conveniently forget the umpteen other times that 06/06/06 happened and the day just drifted by.

Like 1806. Or 1906. And so on.

It also smacks of Euro-centrism. We think that God sees the world that He created through our spectacles. I don't know how God makes sense of time, but it's probably a lot different than we do.

My advice? Don't cash in your 401(k) tonight or run up your credit cards- you'll likely be here next week.

Marriage

Over the past few years, I've grown increasingly Libertarian. I like to think we're all mature enough to do what we want, as long as we don't hurt other people. It's a good thought, at least.

I could really care less if someone decides to stay home, smoke some weed, eat some Cheetos and pass out on his couch. It's not my concern what another person decides to do in the privacy of his own home.

Of course, when they endanger others, that's a different story. If someone is driving while high, then that's understandably society's concern.

I feel the same way about homosexuality- I'm not a fan of it, but I really don't care if people choose that lifestyle. That's their business. If people want to stick their hoo-ha in a doughnut, so be it. This is America. I get that.

However, I have a semantics problem with gay "marriage." Not a philosophical one, mind you. I don't care if someone wants to live with a cucumber the rest of their life, much less a homosexual person. You can draw up papers and have witnesses and a big party- voila! you're attached to whatever the hell you want to be attached to. Congratulations.

My source of this displeasure stems from two sources:

1) The government never should have been given the power to marry people.

In our society, marriage has a definite religious connotation. Being largely a Judeo-Christian based nation (references to God in founding documents, on currency, etc.) marriage is traditionally viewed as a Christian institution. This stems from Paul's analogy to marriage as a sacrament, analogizing the institution to the marriage of Christ to His church.

Thus, Christianity (ideally) raised marriage beyond its paganistic and economically propelled roots. It became more than just a social contract- it was, as Augustine hypothesized, a melting together of two souls.

I like to think this is true. I like to think that my soul has been combined with my wife's, and that I'm no longer the same person I was when we were married. Instead, we are one new person together, inhabiting two physical shells.

(This is also why divorce is disfavored- or at least, used to be. Divorce was seen as a tearing of the soul, as opposed to a choice of convenience. A lot of people used to stay together simply because there are few things worse than a torn soul, even if it meant they were unhappy.)

If you follow this vein, the separation of church and state should have precluded the state from the ability to join people in matrimony. They could have authorized "civil unions" or whatever the hell you want to call it, but not marriages. Such was not in their jurisdiction. The preacher prays at the funeral, but the state simply prints out a death certificate. They aren't qualified too- and don't even attempt- to eulogize at the funeral. It's not their place.

The state should only register that the two have agreed to live together, instead of the formalistic state event that now transpires. More along the lines of a common-law marriage, which is basically a civil union.

2) Call it what you want, just not "marriage."

Give them the same rights, the same abilities, the same opportunities, but don't call what they have "marriage." Because it's not one. I get the fact that two people of the same sex may choose to live together and in much the same way that people of the opposite sex do- but that doesn't make it the same thing. By using that term, they're piggybacking on the tradition of what marriage is.

Marriage is more than just a joining of two people- just as the sacrament, to Christians, is more than a bread wafer. You don't see Olive Garden advertising, "Soup, salad, and body of Christ" do you? Of course not. Even though they're arguably the same thing. But it's the faith and connotation of the bread that makes it different- something Olive Garden can't supply.

Gay marriage insults the connotation of marriage.

They should either come up with their own word or go with something like "civil unions." Then they can form their own traditions. If they did that, I'd be all for it.

Just don't call it marriage.

Paillion, Vermacht, and Babism, O My!

I was gonna write a long post that wondered aloud why so many East Indians were in the spelling bee, but I just did a Google search and found an East Indian who had already blogged about the matter. He even interviewed past winners and listed some fairly interesting statistics.

I think it's a good read. You can find it here if you're interested.

What amazes me is how the contestants can figure out how to spell the word just by using the word origins and the definition. That to me is ten times more impressive than merely using rote memorization.

I was in a county spelling bee in elementary school. I didn't win it- before you ask, I can't remember what word I missed. I knew how it felt to lose, however, so I can empathize with the kids who lost.

It was nice to actually see competitors actually driven by little more than glory. It made professional sports, in my opinion, look like a joke. These kids had drive, energy, personalities, and heart. Their rich adult counterparts could learn a thing or two from these kids.

Contracts Grade

B.

This is actually pretty good for the contracts class I took.

For starters, she only gave out one "A" last semester- meaning that B+s became the A for all intents and purposes. So a B is pretty competitive, at least for that class.

Secondly, the test didn't seem very fair at all. I say that not as sour grapes- five or six of my classmates actually went to the Dean to complain, I hear. Also, as someone who taught for three years, I can usually tell a valid test when I see it. This one covered more appellate advocacy than contracts, it appeared.

Thirdly, I was so confused after that test that I wouldn't have been shocked to see anything between an A and a C pop up on the grading screen. So a B is a good compromise.

I'll take it.