Al-Qaeda Cracks Disney Vault, Preparing to Release Return from Witch Mountain on Unsuspecting Public
AP, Washington, D.C.-- Government authorities have learned that at 9:53 p.m. last night, Al-Qaeda terrorists managed to breach the top-level security at the Magic Kingdom. Details are scarce, but we do know that the Vault's location has changed several times, probably to thwart overly ambitious MGM executives.
However, no one could have foreseen this.
In a daring late night raid, terrorists seized such charming classics as The Apple Dumpling Gang and The Rocketeer. Mustard gas canisters and heavy-duty explosives were found among the ruins, quite possibly to explode the fourteen-inch steel walls that protect the cinematic masterpieces.
Even worse, after dealing with the extensive clean-up, they learned of the real target.
In an exclusive scoop, Al-Jazeera television released a filmed threat, stating that Return from Witch Mountain would soon be airing, simultaneously, on every American's TV. Mass chaos, quite expectedly, quickly ensued.
"I can take the fear of never leaving my home," said Ted Danderford, area resident, "but the acting of Christopher Lee? My God, man. My God."
However, no one could have foreseen this.
In a daring late night raid, terrorists seized such charming classics as The Apple Dumpling Gang and The Rocketeer. Mustard gas canisters and heavy-duty explosives were found among the ruins, quite possibly to explode the fourteen-inch steel walls that protect the cinematic masterpieces.
Even worse, after dealing with the extensive clean-up, they learned of the real target.
In an exclusive scoop, Al-Jazeera television released a filmed threat, stating that Return from Witch Mountain would soon be airing, simultaneously, on every American's TV. Mass chaos, quite expectedly, quickly ensued.
"I can take the fear of never leaving my home," said Ted Danderford, area resident, "but the acting of Christopher Lee? My God, man. My God."
posted by Yorick at 7:37 PM
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