BLOG: November 2005

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2005/11/28

One Down, Five To Go

Took my first exam today.

It was just a one-hour course- Legal Analysis- but it feels good to get it out of the way. I feel like I did well, but I won't know until after Christmas.

My first of the Big Five- Criminal Law, Property, Torts, Contracts, and Civil Procedure- begins next Tuesday, I believe. So the time draws nigh.

My first one is Criminal Law, so I've been focusing on it.

Right now I know more about murder than a sane man should- let's just hope I maintain that sanity over the next few weeks.

2005/11/25

Thanksgiving and Misgivings

Besides eating entirely too much food, I had a great Thanksgiving with my family. Here was the menu:

Pumpkin Pie
Sweet Potato Casserole
Turkey
Stuffing
Seven-Layer Salad
Green Been Casserole
Broccoli with Cheese
Cranberries
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Rolls
Cherry Pie
Vanilla Ice Cream

Needless to say, I didn't try all of it- but the breadth of offerings was still mind-boggling. I'm not even sure I listed it all.

In other news, I've studied some, but not as much as I had initially hoped. I'll study some more tomorrow.

Here's hoping my path to law school grades isn't paved with good intentions.

2005/11/22

My (So-Called) Break

Today is the last day of classes until next Monday, due to Thanksgiving.

In college, that meant five straight days to lay around, watch TV, and eat assorted foods.

When I was a teacher, that meant five straight days to put off grading papers and thinking up assignments.

In law school, it means something completely different.

My plan is to spend at least eight hours on each subject over the break. Given the fact that I have five days, that should equal eight hours a day. Tough, but not exactly Herculean. But, when you add in the fact that I'm taking Thanksgiving off to spend with family and the four hours I'll be working with Habitat for Humanity, the arithmetic gets more daunting. Basically this means I'm going to have to literally lock myself in a room Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, only coming out to eat the occasional meal. I'm going to read over all the cases again, compile notes, take practice exams, memorize, and attempt to synthesize the material until it becomes second nature.

That's the plan, anyway.

I've decided to make a legitimate attempt to score an A in every class. I've also decided that my competition for the exam is not the students sitting around me, but every student, past and future, who has or will score an A.

Believe me when I say this is not hubris, but instead a dedicated and concerted effort to do my best. If I don't set my standard high, I'll grow lax and fall into mediocrity.

Such is my nature.

2005/11/21

Tempus Fugit

Yesterday my sister called to confirm the Thanksgiving Dinner schedule. Every year my wife and I go to her parents' house to eat in the morning (to facilitate her dad's deer hunting) and then on to my parents' house in the evening. The trick is to have enough time to digest in between meals.

I can't believe it's already late November. It doesn't feel like the Holiday Season yet. Partly, I suppose, because the weather in Mississippi is so strange. Last week we were in the 80's- not exactly the weather for roasting chestnuts.

In other news, I have my first real mid-term on November 28th. It's only a one hour credit course (Legal Analysis) but the teacher has been out a while due to surgery, so no one in the class is exactly sure what the exam will cover.

I hope wherever you are time is moving at a slower pace- because here, it's running at breakneck speed.

2005/11/17

Red Touches Yellow...

This morning I was accosted by a strange woman walking the streets, ruined my pants and spent fifty dollars.

It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise.

I was going though the drive-through to pick up some breakfast when a woman approached the passenger door. I rolled down the window partway and she asked if she could get a ride to West Street, which is probably half a mile down the road. Not wanting to get a knife in my gut or a venereal disease, I lied and told her that I was heading in the other direction. But since I'm a sucker, I gave her a twenty, which she promptly took and ran to the nearest gas station.

As luck would have it, I had to go to the gas station, so I ended up inadvertently following her. I must admit, I was curious as to how she would use the money. She bought some coffee and whatnot and thanked me again before leaving, letting me know that she had found another ride to West Street. The cashier responded to this by looking at me strangely while ringing up my purchase. I explained what happened and she responded by asking if she could have my change from the transaction. To repeat- the cashier asked if she could have my change from the transaction. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded. I said, "Seriously?" and then looked around as if I were on Candid Camera. I was so flabbergasted I agreed, and even though it was only two dollars, the whole principle of a cashier having the audacity to ask astounds me.

I don't mind giving people money- especially when they don't ask for it. I've had homeless people come up and ask quite politely for any pocket change. Usually, if they ask with any sort of decency, I give a ten or twenty. I'm not so poor that I have to count every dollar (although I'm close), but ten dollars to some people means a lot more than it does to me. I get that. But when the employee of an establishment asks for the change, that behavior is so revolting to so many different societal standards I don't even know where to begin. If Henry Ford were alive, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't throttle her on the spot.

After that fiasco, I decided to eat my breakfast. Unfortunately, the whole thing fell in my lap, and I had to go to Wal-Mart to buy a new pair of pants and a shirt. In all, I paid $30.17, I think. Unfortunately, the dressing rooms weren't open, so the pair of pants I bought were a little too small. So I improvised. I cut slits in the waist with a pair of scissors and then taped the sides together.

My grandfather used to have a saying that described my family's luck. He called it "snakebit."

I think I'm starting to see what he meant.

2005/11/16

Lincolnesque

This is to all those people who think that a legal education requires such things as study aides, laptops, outlines, or even professors.

"My father, at the death of his father, was but six years of age; and he grew up, litterally [sic] without education. He removed from Kentucky to what is now Spencer County, Indiana, in my eighth year. We reached our new home about the time the State came into the Union. It was a wild region, with many bears and other wild animals, still in the woods. There I grew up. There were some schools, so called; but no qualification was ever required of a teacher beyond "readin, writin, and cipherin" to the Rule of Three. If a straggler supposed to understand latin happened to sojourn in the neighborhood, he was looked upon as a wizzard [sic]. There was absolutely nothing to excite ambition for education. Of course when I came of age I did not know much. Still somehow, I could read, write, and cipher to the Rule of Three; but that was all. I have not been to school since. The little advance I now have upon this store of education, I have picked up from time to time under the pressure of necessity.
I was raised to farm work, which I continued till I was twenty-two. At twenty one I came to Illinois, and passed the first year in Macon County. Then I got to New-Salem (at that time in Sangamon, now in Menard County), where I remained a year as a sort of Clerk in a store."


Learning is the dance that occurs amongst the brain, books, and light- preferably by candle. Any thing else is at best unmelodious, and at worst renders the cacophony mute.

2005/11/15

Hurt Paw

When I arrived at my house yesterday, I noticed that one of my dogs was severely limping. I instantly played amateur vet, fearing that he had been hit by a car and broken his leg. (I never see him head toward the road, so I didn't think this was a great possiblity, but I was worried nonetheless.) Quickly, however, I learned that was not the case. Somehow he had managed to rip off a good portion of the padding on his back right foot.

I called the local vet and asked him what could be done. He said to clean and wrap it with gauze and duct tape and change the bandage everyday. He suggested antibiotics if it started looking worse, but other than that, I guess there's not a whole lot they can do.

I had to sit him up between my legs while my wife applied the bandage. He sat calmly throughout the whole ordeal, even though it had to be uncomfortable. He must have known we were helping him. He looks a bit silly with a big bandage on his foot but he is putting some weight on it now. He tried to shake it off at first but now I think he accepts it. It was on tight when I left for school this morning, and with any luck, it'll still be on when I get home.

I am curious about one thing, though- will the pad grow back or will it just heal over? Either way, I don't think he'd have trouble walking, since he spends 99% of his time in the grass or the hay in his house.

2005/11/14

Hair on the Barb-Wire?

Today I went walking through the woods (big surprise, I know) when I came to an old barb-wire fence that runs the length of our yard. I noticed several clumps of what appeared to be long, blonde hair sticking in the barbs. Maybe seven or eight inches long.

After several good tugs, I managed to free a few clumps. I carried them back to the house and showed my wife. Together, we tried to figure out if they were some sort of plant product or actual hair. I set a few of them on fire and they didn't really catch- just smoldered and gave off that burnt hair smell.

Before you ask, sometimes I take the cat hairs that gather on my couch and burn them with a lighter- it's quicker and easier than getting up to throw them away, and much more entertaining.

There are no plants nearby that resemble the "hairs", and the clumps were so entrenched in the barbs I can't imagine them getting there without some sort of animal passing by and catching them there. In other words, wind blowing them into the barbs doesn't seem feasible.

One of the clumps was on the highest line of barb-wire, which is maybe four feet high. Others were lower. There are no horses in that pasture, only the occasional cow. But thanks to my dogs, they never come that close to the fence, and I'm pretty sure none of them have blond hair, much less hair that's seven to eight inches long.

So I'm stumped- what is it?

BTW- my wife doesn't have blonde hair.

2005/11/11

The Painting in the Stairwell

Everyday when I work, I trudge up the library stairs. They head up halfway to a small landing before turning back upon themselves and reaching their destination.

Everyday I stand on this landing and pause for a moment before a painting that was probably hung there after someone donated it. It is a painting of two cowboys sitting on horses in a clearing framed by woods. It is autumn, and the carmelized gold of the trees plays well against the blue backdrop of the sky. There is enough detail present to serve as a testament to the artist's skill, but enough is left out to let the mind fill in the details and cause the whole thing to shimmer and shift with possibility.

It is magnificent.

Everyday I tell myself that if I could paint that well, I'd drop out of law school and spend the rest of my days with a paint brush in my hands. It's grandeur mocks everything I work toward- the memorization of statutes, the arranging of books, the incessant preparation for exams- and it shines a path down a road I don't have the courage to explore.

I hate it and love it, all at the same time.

It brings my soul-stuff close to the surface of my flesh and sends the primal shudder through me that signifies that life is raw, and for a moment, close.

And everyday I break away and head back up to the third floor, banishing the dangerous thoughts of creative freedom until another day.

2005/11/08

Bump (The Pothole Chronicles)

............what...................Jackson..............
........is........................................................
.....................driving....................feels......
This............................in......................like.

2005/11/03

Bones

Continuing with the theme of death, my dogs have apparently discovered some sort of large skeleton in the woods. They choose to inform me of this fact by dragging home a large piece of it once a week, which they proceed to worry and gnaw until it slowly disappears.

The latest one is at least a foot long and perhaps four inches around. My best guess is deer, but I'm not an expert.

On a more macabre note, I'm going to head out this weekend and see if I can find the remains. I'm curious as to what kind of animal it was.

2005/11/01

El Dia De La Muertos

I know that this is too late for Halloween, but I have it on good authority that today is the Day of the Dead. To celebrate, I offer this gift to you. This story (the meat of which is historically accurate) has always been one of my favorite local tales. My house sits about fifteen miles outside of Yazoo City, so the story hits very close to home.

The Story of the Witch

Many years ago, there was a mean and ugly woman who lived alone in carefully guarded seclusion near the banks of the Yazoo River. Nobody knew anything about her, but they loathed her nonetheless. They hated her so much they didn't even give her a name. It was rumored that on stormy nights she would lure fisherman into her house, poison them with arsenic, and bury them on a densely wooded hill nearby...this was her hobby, but although many people suspected her of these evil diversions, no one was able to prove anything. Then one late afternoon in the autumn of 1884, a boy named Joe Bob Duggett was passing by her house on a raft when he heard a terrible, ungodly moan from one of the rooms. He tied his raft to a cypress branch, ran to the house, and looked through a window. What he saw chilled his blood and bones. Two dead men were stretched out on the floor of the parlor, and the old woman, wearing a black dress caked with filth and cockleburs, had turned her face up to the ceiling and was singing some dreadful incantations, waving her arms in demented circles all the while.

Joe Bob Duggett raced to his raft, floated into town, and told the sheriff and his men what he had seen. They got a horse and buggy and sped to the old woman's house...They smashed down the front door, but were unable to find either the dead men (who have never been found to this day) or the demented old woman. They climbed the stairs to the attic, opened the door an inch or two, and caught sight of several dozen half-starved cats, all bunched together and gyrating in their wild insanity. Two skeletons, which were never identified by the sheriff's office, dangled from a dusty rafter. Fish bones littered the floor, and the smell was unusually pungent. The sheriff, his deputies, and Joe Bob stood there transfixed, finally banging the door shut when eight or ten of the cats tried to get out.

Then from the backyard they heard the sound of footsteps in the fallen pecan leaves, and from an upstairs window they saw the old woman sneaking away into the swamps which abounded along the River. "Stop in the name of the law!" the sheriff shouted, but the old woman, who as Joe Bob Duggett would later tell his grandchildren, looked "half ghost and half scarecrow, but all witch," took off into the swamps at a maniacal gallop. They followed in hot pursuit, and a few minutes later they came upon a sight that Joe Bob remembered so well he would describe it again, for the thousandth time, on his deathbed in the King's Daughter Hospital in 1942. The old woman had been trapped in a patch of quicksand, and they caught up with her just seconds before her ghastly, pockmarked head was about to go under. But she had time to shout these words at her pursuers: I shall return. Everybody always hated me here. I will break out of my grave and burn down the whole town on the morning of May 25, 1904! Then, as Joe Bob also described it later, with a gurgle and a retch the woman sank from sight to her just desserts.

With the aid of pitchforks and long cypress limbs the authorities were able to retrieve her body. The next day, with the wind and rain sweeping down from the hills, they buried her in the center of the town cemetery, in a cluster of trees and bushes, and around her grave they put the heaviest chain they could find---some thirty strong and solid links. "If she can break through that and burn down Yazoo," the sheriff said, more in fun than seriously, "she deserves to burn it down".

The years went by, the long Mississippi seasons came and went, and the town forgot the old woman.

On the morning of May 25, 1904, some twenty years later, Miss Pauline Wise was planning her wedding. As she entered her parlor to show her visitor some gifts, she discovered a small blaze. Suddenly a strong wind, unusual for that time of year, spread the fire to adjoining house. From Main Street the fire spread to all intersecting streets and soon reached the residential section. The roar of the ever-increasing flames, the confusion of terrorized thousands, the hoarse shouts of the firefighters, and the sound of crashing walls made a scene of awesome horror that remained a fixed picture in the memory of eyewitnesses as long as their lives lasted. Many fine homes were destroyed, and every bank, every physician's, lawyer's and dentist's office, every hotel and boardinghouse, every meat market and bakery, the newspaper and printing office, every church, clubroom, and lodge room, every telephone, telegraph and express office, the depot, the post office, every furniture store, every hardware store, all but one livery stable, all but one drugstore, every barbershop, every tailor shop, every undertaking establishment, and, in fact, nearly every business necessity.

The next day, after the murderous flames had consumed themselves, several elder citizens of the town made a journey to the grave in the middle of the cemetery. What they discovered would be passed along to my friends and to me many years later, and as boys we would go see it for ourselves, for no repairs were made, as a reminder to future generations. As if by some supernatural strength, the chain around the grave had been broken in two.
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