The Day Before Extraordinary
I wonder when the difference between my goals and reality will coalesce into a perfect harmony.
They're not magnificent goals, by any stretch- start running regularly, eating healthy, and writing for a while everyday- but my actions never bear them out.
I've watched TV for over two hours today, and now I'm hunkered down in front of the computer, writing these words. Continuously attached to a technological tether, it appears.
I think I'll like being a lawyer- it's interesting, and all- but it's not, in a perfect world, what I would want to do with the rest of my life. A tragedy, to be sure, but not a unique one. I doubt 90% of the population ever really does what they truly want to do. Lives of quiet desperation, and all that. At some point in life the door opens and the light of reality sends our childhood dreams scuttling away into the back recesses of our minds.
There's a part of me that wants to do nothing more than write, yet I never pick up the pen and sit in silence for hours honing my craft. There's a part that wants to paint, yet I rarely dabble in that field anymore. There's a part that wants to build Adirondack chairs, but the idea's been stillborn in my head for months. The desire is there, no doubt- but it's either not strong enough to change the growing tide or being outweighed by another force, one that's had the benefit of running deep grooves in the landscape of my being.
I often wonder if I'll ever snap out of this mode of existence and actually pursue my dreams. And then I wonder what the day before that day would be like- would it be just another day, or one that pushed me to try something new?
The change itself wouldn't even be that dramatic- I'd still go to law school and work as a clerk, etc. However, I would be a writer who is attending law school. The attitude and outlook would change, not the actual behavior.
In truth, we've fooled ourselves. We've created lifestyles that we can only afford by (for the large part) taking high-paying jobs we really don't want. We seem to forget the other option- living simply and actually doing what the hell we want with the rest of our lives. The poor man who can fish at 2:00 in the afternoon seems to have a better schedule than I do. I have money, but so what? Does that buy me time to fish? Hardly. It only makes me tired, and pushes me to the bed that much earlier.
We've become slaves who lounge on leather sofas and eat the finest grapes, and forgotten our ancestors who slept on the ground, yet directed their fates like kings.
I miss the ground.
I wonder when that sentiment will take form and shape in my life- and what the day before it will be like.
They're not magnificent goals, by any stretch- start running regularly, eating healthy, and writing for a while everyday- but my actions never bear them out.
I've watched TV for over two hours today, and now I'm hunkered down in front of the computer, writing these words. Continuously attached to a technological tether, it appears.
I think I'll like being a lawyer- it's interesting, and all- but it's not, in a perfect world, what I would want to do with the rest of my life. A tragedy, to be sure, but not a unique one. I doubt 90% of the population ever really does what they truly want to do. Lives of quiet desperation, and all that. At some point in life the door opens and the light of reality sends our childhood dreams scuttling away into the back recesses of our minds.
There's a part of me that wants to do nothing more than write, yet I never pick up the pen and sit in silence for hours honing my craft. There's a part that wants to paint, yet I rarely dabble in that field anymore. There's a part that wants to build Adirondack chairs, but the idea's been stillborn in my head for months. The desire is there, no doubt- but it's either not strong enough to change the growing tide or being outweighed by another force, one that's had the benefit of running deep grooves in the landscape of my being.
I often wonder if I'll ever snap out of this mode of existence and actually pursue my dreams. And then I wonder what the day before that day would be like- would it be just another day, or one that pushed me to try something new?
The change itself wouldn't even be that dramatic- I'd still go to law school and work as a clerk, etc. However, I would be a writer who is attending law school. The attitude and outlook would change, not the actual behavior.
In truth, we've fooled ourselves. We've created lifestyles that we can only afford by (for the large part) taking high-paying jobs we really don't want. We seem to forget the other option- living simply and actually doing what the hell we want with the rest of our lives. The poor man who can fish at 2:00 in the afternoon seems to have a better schedule than I do. I have money, but so what? Does that buy me time to fish? Hardly. It only makes me tired, and pushes me to the bed that much earlier.
We've become slaves who lounge on leather sofas and eat the finest grapes, and forgotten our ancestors who slept on the ground, yet directed their fates like kings.
I miss the ground.
I wonder when that sentiment will take form and shape in my life- and what the day before it will be like.
posted by Yorick at 6:39 PM
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