Punny

I thought this old chestnut I heard years ago would be a fitting anecdote to share, considering the fact that I received no grades today. Feel free to groan at the end.

Once upon a time there lived a king who hated puns, so he issued an edict that whoever punned would be hung in the town square. Most people (not too fond of puns themselves) obeyed and saved their necks. The jester, however, was a bit different. He had accidentally (or so he swore up and down) punned in front of the king.

The king, true to his word, hauled the jester out to the town square in preparation for the hanging. Since it was the middle ages, people came out in droves to witness the event. He was measured for a casket, the rope placed around his neck, and the crowd grew silent as they anticipated the dreadful event.

The king was about to enter the order when he saw a small child crying. His heart moved, he spoke in a loud and booming voice to the jester.

"Jester, you have defied me, and for that you should die. But this little boy here has changed my mind (kings had to be good politicians, remember) and I will spare your life on one condition."

The jester responded, "What is it?"

"That you never pun again. If I hear you pun, you will surely die, and not even a thousand crying children shall changed my mind? What do you say?"

The crowd, in glorious unison, rose up in cheers and applause.

The King smiled smugly to himself. He had shown his potential toughness, yet also shown mercy. The jester would bow politely and mumble his acquiescence, and the King would be able to go play an early round of croquet. Life was good.

Then, just as before, the crowd grew quiet, not wanting to miss the jester's words. All eyes were on him, with the rope around his neck, mere moments from doom.

"I say," he responded, voice full of power, "That no noose is good news!"