75 Days to Sweet Blessed Freedom

Day 76:Since the assignment had to do with crayons today, my students did okay. "Okay" in my parlance, means that there were only three or four confrontations that almost ended in fights.Why so many fights?

Everyone in my class sits and watches like hawks for the chance that somebody will "disrespect" them. They've been programmed to lash out anytime anyone- myself included- tries to correct their behavior or offer criticism. To not strike back immediately- either verbally or physically- emasculates them in front of the crowd. All my male students have in this world is their supposed manhood, and they would probably kill to protect it.

Psychologists tell us that all anger is born of fear, and I believe it. The world my students have grown up in is full of fears, so it is no surprise how often they turn to anger and violence... in short, they are seemingly unable to form meaningful human relationships- with anybody. So instead they appease their psyche with psuedo-relationships based on gang affiliation and an uneasy tension that is usally easily broken the next time one of them is "disrespected".

One of them ate clay today.