Monster in the Grass

Yesterday, I was cleaning up my yard due to the fact that one of my dogs has a predilection for tearing open garbage bags and examining their contents. Thinking I was finished, I took one last look around and saw a piece of trash about twenty-five feet away. Walking over, I bent down to pick it up until I realized it was not a piece of trash but instead a gigantic green moth sent to terrorize my dreams.

These things are HUGE. The websites I've visited say their wingspan is around four and a half inches, but apparently entomologists have yet to see the Mississippi Delta variety, as they appear much larger. At any rate, anytime you see an insect from twenty-five feet away and mistake it for a piece of notebook paper, you're dealing with a pretty large bug. This thing approximated the size of a small bird, for crying out loud.

On a tangent, there's a small moth that appears to have decided that I'm its mother. Almost every day when I go outside, it sits on my hand and stares at me. After a while I get freaked out, due mostly to the fact that its proboscis keeps extending and retracting across my flesh, and I shake it off. Unfortunately, this is not an acceptable outcome for the moth, who very quickly returns to the exact same spot. On one occasion, this happened at least ten times in a row.

Now if I could only get it to fetch, I'd be a shoe-in for Letterman...