Meaning

Modern man has much to lament, as meaning has ceased to accompany many of his acts. Acts exist not as reflections on a larger truth, but as mere physical movements on an earthly stage.

I say this as a reflection of what I see at law school- many of my peers want nothing more than a high-paying job at a prestigious firm. It is the end-all, be-all of their existence. It bleeds past academia and infiltrates their personal lives, mannerisms, and set of personal values. I am positive that most of them will be successful in reaching this goal that they've set. That is not what I question- I question the goal itself.

When challenged from this angle, most will fall back on the old human fallacy that they'll change their ways once the money rolls in- that the very thing that forces them to be prisoners to a rigid schedule will give them freedom once their sentence is up. It is, in most cases, merely an alluring dream. Humans rarely reassess their values, and rarely if ever choose to meaningfully act on that reassessment to change the direction of their lives.

Reassessment rarely occurs because it requires us to take a close look at the very lens through which we look at everything else. It is so close, so much a part of us, that it eludes our search. Even if the lens is faulty, the fault becomes so universal that we take it as truth. There is, after all, nothing to compare the skewed vision with. As such, the questions of why we want something and how to change the why scarcely enter our minds, much less receive the mental effort they deserve.

Although I criticize my peers, I am guilty of the same thing. Or at least, I once was.

I think maturity is, in essence, a settling of personal values- the calm of solid bedrock long after the quakes and aftershocks have passed away. I can not claim to have a monopoly on maturity or a superiority in values, but I am confident enough in my choices to divulge them here.

I value family, time, growth, knowledge, and nature. I want nothing more than a little white farmhouse on a small piece of land where I can watch my kids grow up. I want to love my wife. I want enough money to get by without losing sleep at night. I want time to walk with my family through the sacred woods at least once a week. I always want to learn, regardless of the subject matter. I want to grow spiritually and emotionally.

Those are my goals.

I wish luck to my peers who have decided to forsake these things for jobs that require 80 hours a week. I have grown too old to try and convince others to change their minds, and too apathetic to worry that they'll one day be unhappy. Such is not my cross to bear. Perhaps it is the path for them. Perhaps they have more insight than me. Perhaps I should even act according to their aspirations.

But I won't. I'll choose living over existing any day of the week.