Razor Commercial and the Worst Gum Ever Made

While watching the AFL on NBC (I'm a loser), I heard a razor commercial on TV. Usually I tune these out but for some reason I found myself listening. The announcer mentioned the razor and said that their products had the "most advanced blades" ever.

Huh?

How exactly does one improve on a sharpened piece of metal? There must be a point to how sharp one piece of metal can be, right? And we're not splitting atoms here, Gillette, we're shaving yesterday's stubble. I really don't think I need samurai-quality steel.

I can understand the idea that more blades will do a better job, but really- improving the actual blade itself? I sat listening to the commercial, hoping that they would clue me in on the process, which I was sure involved a shaman and someone's soul. But instead, they just cued the cheesy music and disappeared.

Damn you, Gillette- now I must purchase said razor and divine its secrets.

On another note, NEVER try Eclipse Cherry flavored gum. It tastes like cough syrup and hell rolled into one tiny package. I would rather bite off my tongue and swallow the blood than eat another one of those tiny, harmless looking treats. Whoever's making them ought to be stopped.

I've got pitchforks and torches in the barn.

Who's with me?